Many women feel as though they have to pick either being a good mother or having a career. Sound familiar? Well the truth is you can be both! Being a mom is one of the greatest and most fulfilling jobs a woman can have. Seeing your children grow and learn things you have taught them is an amazing feeling for any mother, but in today’s society women are pulled in so many directions. So, the question is how can you be a good mom while still having a successful career? Making these five changes to your life will allow you to be a more attentive and patient mother while also holding down a successful career.
1. Say No More Often
With all the directions you are being pulled you could probably say yes to 10 or more commitments every day! The problem with this is that we have limited time in our day that can be spent doing meaningful tasks, such as playing with our children or writing a business plan. If you continue to say yes to things that are not helping you improve yourself, your career, your family, or your finances you lose valuable time that could be spent making these areas of your life better. Saying yes often comes from feeling like you need to please others. We fill guilt or selfishness if we put ourselves first and choose to not do something for another person. Saying no to more requests helps you value yourself and the time you have in a day.
2. Be Mindful
If you are not yet sure what mindfulness is it is about time you learned. Mindfulness is a nonjudgmental state of mind where you are focused on awareness of what is around you and within in the current moment. The benefits of mindfulness go on and on, but two specific benefits are greater satisfaction in relationships and increased focus and concentration. We already talked about how your time and energy are valuable, so we want to make sure when you are doing tasks that you are approaching them mindfully. When you are mindful, you are able to make the most of the current situation you are in. For example, if you are on the floor coloring with your children you want to be present with them and make this time count. Notice their smile, what makes them laugh, what they smell like, how they say the word mommy, and the way their voice sounds. When you are at work you want to focus on one task at a time and stay present in whatever it is you are engaging in to therefore be more productive and have less stress and work coming home with you.
3. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
Comparing yourself to other people almost feels like a normal occurrence now days due to the amount of time spent on social media. Social media is a place where people post all about all the wonderful things they are doing, whether this is an amazing trip they are taking or the beautiful remodel they just did to their house. Through social media you see the life the person wants you to see, not the everyday reality of their life. You might look at other people’s social media accounts and think, “How does she have so much time to do creative art projects with her kids and have a great job?” When in reality that women spent all of yesterday running around getting all of the supplies she needed for that one art project and then forced her children to take a cute picture while yelling at them to stop hitting one another. Sounds exhausting! And what do you see? The end result, the cute picture which shows a “perfect” life. The point is things are not always what they seem. Even if someone looks like they have it all together the truth is they just struggle in a different way. It is also important to remember that you and your family are unique. There is no other family like yours. You need to recognize that what you are doing is what works for all of you, and that is what matters.
4. Specify Time for Family and Work
Since both of these aspects of your life are important it is necessary that you schedule and dedicate specific time for work and for your family. Trying to have balance often comes with feelings of guilt and failure if you are not specific about what you are trying to achieve. Make sure you have enough time for work to accomplish what is needed in each day and then also dedicate a specific time that is meant for just your family. By scheduling and making time for these areas in your life you will be prioritizing this and know that you accomplished what you needed to that day. This will help you be successful in each area and will boost your confidence in these areas as well.
5. Stop Judging Yourself
In your busy life it can be very easy to feel like you are not good enough. Not a good enough mother and not good enough in the career world. This simply is not true. Stop judging yourself for how you parent or that you have a full-time job. It is okay that you want to be a mom, but you also want to be the best at your career. Stop judging yourself when you go to work and leave your kids. Following your passions and fulfilling your needs is what will make you a better mother, not simply the amount of time you spend with your kids. It is okay that you work and that you are not with your children 100 percent of the time. Remember you are also teaching them something by being a hard worker.
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